F*cked Up

Stressful week...
All things coming at the same time...
Damn depressed...
Not only about things of exams...
But EVERYTHING!!!

Family
After STPM life
Money
Rest
And the cold weather...
All ruining my day... erm, weeks, I should say...
Will get some stories to tell soon...
but boring ones for sure...
Haizzz...

~kimfoo~

Any Plans? Errr...

*Just had a big long yawn...*
The weather driving me... CRAZY?
Nope, it's too cold to be CRAZY...
Even crazy people would settle down in such cold weather...
It's been raining since I woke up and drizzled till night...
Meaning no sun for the whole day...
And I'm feeling damn cold...
Especially my hands and legs...
Tap water also feel like ice water...
And the worst thing is, I don't have a water heather in my bathroom...
Sei lo... Damn cold... Brrrrr...

Okay, back to my title...
I refer to plans for my future...
And also my financial planning for the next few months...
Need to take both into consideration at the same time...
Sadly, I can't be having any steady plans...
Cause everything seems drifting...
I mean, not steady... Things can change anytime...
My father asked me whether if I will continue my tertiary studies or not...
Honestly, I have no answer...
It all depends on my results...
And my results... there's nothing much to say...

Working?
No idea as well...
I don't wanna some crappy job...
Being in MY FM sounds good to me...
In which I'm really anticipating and excited about...
But if I don't make it through the probationary period?
And if I make it through, I had to take a total of 17 days of leave in Feb and March...
That's definitely not nice to hear for my supervisor...
When I'm just a newbie...
And then suddenly resign to start university... if I can get one...
Aih... 'Fan'...

Cash problems lagi banyak...
All troubles are mainly from gadgets...
Lappie broke down...
Handphone charger spoiled twice within a month...
And the need to have a camera...
Since I am going to UK in Feb...
But the dilemma is, laptop or DSLR?
If I repair the laptop, then no camera to take nice pictures...
If I buy DSLR, then how about the storage?
That's memory card sure can't store all the pictures for that 2 weeks...
Plus all the apparels I need for work and to UK...
Damn costly...
And I doubt I can get those money...

Working can solve money problems...
But what can determine whether I'm working?
Only time does...
Thus, I need to wait...
Waiting doesn't sounds good to me...
Haizzz...
Complicated...
Haven't touched the books yet...
Thursday, BIOLOGY paper 2...
Die Dead Death...

~kimfoo~

Complicated feelings

Loneliness strikes...
Disappointment on myself...
Fatigues...
And a whole lot sum of troubles by my laptop...

All making me feeling terrible...
Had not been studying for the pass few days...
Since Tuesday...
Kept wasting time...
I'll seriously, die terribly in the exams...

No mood to write...
Let me sort out my feelings...
And see what I can tell from it...

~kimfoo~

Ego? Protective? ... What to call it?

Damn, days away from finals...
And this sister of mine brought me into discomfort and rage...
Making the problem worst is the father and the elder sister...

Let me just state the conditions...

I...
Have a 16 year old sister
She's studying, seeking for much freedom...
Studying in a school in the local place...
Failed almost every single subject in the previous exams...
And ask me what's that school famous for?
To be honest, nothing...
Academic? No...
Co-curricular? No...
Pretty kawaii girls? No...
Handsome boys? No...
Famous entreprenuer? None...
O yeah, they've been on the paper...
For gang banging somebody's son...
And threatening him weeks later...
And of course, with much disgrace, people can even go sit for SPM in that school with a 3 months old foetus in her belly... And that's my cousin sister...

Besides, she commits/invloves herself to a RUINED gang...
A gang that have a bunch of girls not even worthy to be 'seafood'
With people that sped around the area with their motorcycles, threatening lives...
People that 'talked' like shouting on the top of their throat...
And FUNNY people adding people anonymously on FB, Friendster & MSN
And when people ask them to introduce themselves, they replied
"You crazy?!?! Why should I introduce myself? I add for FUN only wor..."

And now, she seeks for freedom...
Year End Holiday Job...
With peer pressure by her peers,
She wanted so badly to work at The Mines Shopping Fair...
Which I think that is a RUINED PLACE as well...
Selling handphones... How good could that be?
At least, I don't think that community suits her...
Earlier on, she asked me to help her get a job...
And I got one for her and insisted she attend that job...
She promised me, but now breaking that promise...

STORY ENDS...
Now tell me...
Being the only 'nicely-grown' member in the family...
Am I supposed to protect HER?
Isn't it my resposibilities to warn her of the community she is and will be in?
Isn't it right for me to stop her from all those 'unwanted things'?

And when I consult my elder sister and father,
To my surprise, they just let it be...
*See, they had been so protective to me, a guy. Shouldn't they be more protective to that naive girl?*
I was so pissed off...

Tell me...

"Who's RIGHT? Who's WRONG?

~kimfoo~

Troublesome Gadgets...

Haizzzz... All day long, gadgets giving me troubles...
The lappie crashed uncountable times...
Even the handphone charger is broken now...
Damn, RM15, and it lasted only a few weeks...
Haizzz... Need to splash out cash again...
Wonder should I get a camera?
What if the camera is also troublesome?
Damn...

And the lappie...
I seriously don't know what the bloooody hell is wrong with it...
It just blacked out whenever it liked to...
Don't even know it's the systems' problem or the LCD's problem...
And when I restart it, again the same problem...
Sometimes, it runs on a black screen... no pic/no colour
Then you restart it a few times, it functions again...
WTF, as if the machine itself has a homeostatis mechanism...

I guess there's not a need repairing it...
I'll just format it and leave it as it is...
Better save the money up for a new PC...
Whatever it is, there's a new resolution...

"Never get TOO dependent on gadgets.
Cuz... THEY'LL BREAK DOWN!!!"

LOL
Officially wasted four days...
And six more days to the first paper...
The question is,

"How badly will I do? Pass, Conditional Pass or... FAILED?"

~kimfoo~

Blessed...

Laptop back on running today...
Still very faulty...
But I guess it'll be quite in a good way after formating it...
I'm cutting off all the RAM consuming games...
Good for me, Good for the computer...

Looking at my post title,
The laptop recovery is definitely a blessing for me...
Another blessing came...
An e-mail
From one beloved friend I knew since March last year...
We knew each other in NS...
Well, the e-mail he sent to me, is a letter of appreciation...
I was so touched...
Never thought that I could be so influencial...
It's a recognition to me,
Telling me that all my doings all these while are worth it...
Thanks...

My friends should had known that I've called for on duty training with MY FM cruising crew...
And I'm spreading the news all around...
Lotsa people turned up and expressed blessings to me...
I was so HAPPY...
And also proud to get the job among 300++ applicants...
Even though the crusing crew is not my desire job, DJ
But it's a chance to be a DJ as well...
Just hope to perform well, and someday I'll be making the mic.
FYI, it had been an ambition for me since Form 3...
Damn, I still need to go through the probationary stage...
If I failed to make it, then 'malu teruk' lo...
Somemore heboh the news all around... LOL...

And the most blessed of all, is the people around me...
All my friends
My Family...
And those elders that gave me a lot of motivations and advices
Even though I nagged often enough...
That my enviroment is devastating...
Yet, it made me grow...
Thanks~

~kimfoo~

The New Journey Begins

School officially ends yesterday...
Rather depressing actually...
I didn't go in front and speak...
As I expect I would...
Cuz I had a depressing Sunday...
Anyway, schools over!!!
Memories are memories!
I guess I just need to get on with life...
No regrets
Cuz I treasured the pass 15 months rather well...
I did a lot of things that I want to do and I need to do...

And today, I received the call from MY FM...
They asked me to go for training...
You won't know how happy I was at that time...
Jumped and yelled around...
So I guess I won't have much time to celebrate after STPM...
The training begins right after STPM...
But there are still some dates which are empty...
So I guess I could worked out something to have fun with my peers...
Please let me know if you have any ideas in mind...

Next up, is to give my best to STPM...
Guess that's all I could say...
Ciaozzz~~

~kimfoo~